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Remove me from the Way of Falsehood

by Zvi Mazeh

This week's Torah portion opens with Jacob setting off from Beer Sheva to
Haran, embarking on a journey as an independent person. Although the
Torah portion does not go into detail, we very well know the
circumstances in which Jacob has left his home. Jacob must escape from
Esau who wants to take his life. At the end of the Torah portion, a
second escape occurs. This time Jacob escapes back to the Land of Israel
from Laban the Aramean, who is pursuing him. Both of these escapes are
fundamentally connected with Jacob's deceptiveness towards his family.
In the beginning of the Torah portion, Jacob escapes from Esau after
misleading Esau and Isaac. "Your brother came deceitfully and took
your blessing." The escape at the end of the Torah portion also involves
deception: "Jacob stole Laban the Aramean's heart without telling him
that he is running away." Within this framework, between each escape and
trickery, Jacob lives his life in Aram and builds up a family.

Jacob came to Aram alone as a refugee, without a nuclear family
to support him. The relationship between Jacob and Laban becomes clearer
by understanding Jacob's status. In this ancient tribal culture, the
family constitutes the main support of the individual, and such an
isolated individual as Jacob, a 'stranger' in the language of the Bible,
is likely to be exploited and humiliated. Jacob believes he is escaping
to another branch of his family, to his dear uncle, who will provide him
with safety. Instead, Laban takes advantage of Jacob, enslaving him by
day and night and adjusting his salary ten times. The relationship
between Laban and Jacob is not like an uncle and his nephew, rather like
a ruler and a stranger, without Jacob possessing any political power to
demand justice.

The cruelest example of exploitation of Jacob's status takes
place when Laban used Jacob's deepest feelings, Jacob's love for his
daughter Rachel. Similar to Jacob's trickery towards Esau and Isaac, when
Jacob caused Esau to switch the first born son Esau with the younger son,
himself, Laban switched his first born daughter with his younger
daughter. On his wedding night, in which Jacob waited seven years, Laban
tricked Jacob and gave him his daughter Leah, his older daughter, instead
of his beloved Rachel. When Jacob left for Haran he was probably
convinced that only he could deceive his surroundings. Reality was
turned around – Jacob became the one lied to and deceived.

The Torah does not reveal to us what happened to Jacob when he
discovered the deception. The Torah provides us with only five words
which are translated as follows: "It was morning, and [Jacob discovered
that] it was Leah." The Torah doesn't tell what Jacob felt during that
night, when he still believed that his wife was Rachel, after waiting for
seven years and eating heat during the day and ice at night. What a
terrible fall Jacob must have experienced in the morning when he
discovered that he had been tricked by Laban, Leah, and even Rachel.
This occurred not only at the wedding banquet, but also throughout the
night. Jacob's love for his beloved Rachel remained constant, "for love
will compensate for all crimes", but we can imagine Jacob's feelings
towards Leah and her father.

Jacob the refugee cannot express his dissatisfaction with the
local authorities for he is not a native of the region. For good reason
the relations between Laban and the local population are mentioned. "And
Laban gathered the local people and made a wedding feast" and Laban said
"And in our country we don't do that". Since Laban was part of the local
population, Jacob was unable to make any effective response. Jacob, who
escaped because of his conniving towards Isaac and Esau, had to accept
that he had been cheated on and had to work seven more years for Rachel.
How much disappointment, humiliation, hurt, anger, and hatred must have
been hidden behind the words "And Jacob complied".

What does such a traumatic event as this do to Jacob's young
family? On the outside; "And he loved both Rachel and Leah but his love for Rachel
was greater
than his love for Leah", showing, as much as possible, a family filled
with love. Both Rachel and Leah are loved by the young husband. This is
not so, however. The next verse "G-d saw that Leah was unloved" tells us
that G-d knows that Leah is not loved but hated. As compensation, G-d
blesses Leah with many sons. When the oldest child is born, Leah says, "
'G-d has seen my troubles, so now my husband will love me.' " Leah sees
herself in an impoverished, desperate situation and hopes for improved
relations with Jacob merited by Jacob's eldest son, whom she gave birth
to. With her second son, Leah admits that "I was unloved". With the
third son she still hopes that Jacob will accompany her, if not for her
own sake, then for her sons' sake. Leah's fervent hope does not hold any
chance of coming true. According to the Midrash, "Rabbi Hanin in the name of
Rabbi Shmuel Bar Rabbi Yitzhak said: "Since Jacob saw how Leah deceived her
sister, he thought of divorcing ." After the night of deception, Jacob
would never accept Leah as his wife. "You knew that my wife gave birth
to two children," later Jacob says about Rachel and totally ignores Leah.

The deception and lying within Jacob's home and resulting hatred
leave their imprint on the family's history. The deception will take
control over the lives of Jacob's family. Rachel will steal her father's
teraphim (idols) and will then lie and say, "Do not be angry, my lord, but I
cannot get up for you." All of Jacob's sons will deceive the population
of Shechem. When Jacob's sons replied to Shechem and his father Chamor,
it was with guile." The brothers will deceive Jacob and tell him that "
'We found this. Is it your son's shirt or not?' "

With Judah's family, Onen will trick Tamar and Judah, and Judah
will trick Tamar; " 'Live as a widow in your father's house until my son Shelah is
grown.'

He was putting her off because he was concerned that [Shelah], too, would
die like his brothers." And afterwards Tamar herself will cheat Judah.
Joseph will deceive his brothers, not revealing his identity to them
until later. When the sons tell Jacob the truth, he cannot believe them.
"And his heart fainted and he couldn't believe them." Jacob's lack of
lovingness towards Leah is passed down to the lives of their sons.
Shimon and Levy, sons of the unloved Leah, will hate the 'other', and
will murder the entire population of Shechem, including those who
committed no wrongdoing. All the sons of the unloved Leah joined in the
hatred of Joseph, the son of the loved one. "They hated him and could
not say a peaceful word to him." This all originated with Jacob
deceiving his brother. Jacob's deceptive act caused his own escape and
vulnerability and brought with it a recurrence of deception, this time
visited upon Jacob himself, as well as hatred and jealousy into Jacob's
home.

The Torah shows us its heroes with their weaknesses and failures
in addition to their strengths. The Sages also felt this way and
expressed their moral disapproval when necessary of the nation's Biblical
figures. According to the Tanhuma: "When Jacob saw Leah in the morning
he said to her, 'Daughter of a cheater, why did you deceive me? She
said, 'and you, why did you deceive your father?' "

Jacob's story teaches us that whenever deceptive means are used
against an enemy, the system of deception will be repeated and cause very
serious damage. Examples are found among contemporary public figures.
This heavy burden is passed on by Jacob and his wives to the following
generation. Only the generation of Jacob's sons is able to confront the
deception and hatred through the leadership of Yehuda and Joseph.
Yehuda, Leah's son, is willing to sacrifice himself for Benjamin,
Rachel's son. Joseph, Rachel's son, forgives his brothers for wronging
him and views this as divine providence. "G-d thought to revive a great
nation."

With an astonishingly generous heart Joseph provides for his
brothers and their children and consoles them. Only the greatness of
these two leaders is able to stop Jacob's family from a tragic chain of
events that was hurled at them and to raise the family to ways of reconciliation
and unity.